Emergence of a Toddler

"Uh oh."

Do you know what that is? That, my friends, is the warning signal that something has been dropped on the floor. Or more likely thrown on the floor. The subtle addition of an "uh oh" is inserted to fool you into thinking the act was an accident. Frequently the item in question is just a toy or some other harmless thing such as the dog's leash. Occasionally it's some forbidden object that was slipped from its home using all manner of stealth.

Sly little ninjas, these toddlers. Seriously, the cute, bumbling clumsiness is a ruse. The second your back is turned, the Mission Impossible theme song starts playing and the next thing you know they are sitting on the other side of the room downloading new software to the phone that you would have SWORN you left on a table out of their reach.

Another toddler ploy to trick you into submission? Talking. Who knew that common, everyday words could sound so cute? "Foot"? Precious. "Airplane"? Too adorable for words. They knock down your defenses by saying something mildly coherent, and by the time you stop goo-gooing back at them you realize they've already made it down the hall, intent on scaling Mount Staircase.

I once read a piece of wisdom that indicated our job as parents was to protect our children from themselves. The question is, who is supposed to protect us from them?

I'm pretty sure I'm already done for. One look at those big blue eyes and I turn into a big ball of subservient moosh. I'm also certain she has Daddy completely wrapped around her little finger. And the Grandparents? Fuhgeddaboutit. They were in cahoots with her from Day 1.

So, I think it may be up to the family dogs to keep the peanut in line and everything in order. I'm a bit concerned the little hairball may be swaying into her corner, though, so that really just leaves the Nonnie Dawg...and well, I've been having these gnawing feelings that she could be bribed with treats. There's just something about the way she hovers nearby whenever the peanut is in her high chair eating...

Send in reinforcements, we are a sinking ship over here at Chez Orange & Black.

Comments

[00Frog]

Just because I let Paige stick her finger completely in to my eye, I'm sure I won't be able to identify to the 'big ball of subservient moosh' feeling at all. :)