Life Happens...Game On

Clarity

The conversation started with a question.

"So, do you think you are going to start working out again soon?" It floated through the doorway from our bedroom as I stood removing my makeup and armoring my face against the onset of wrinkles. I paused and thought about it.

"I don't know." An honest response. And then I launched into a diatribe about how I am my own worst enemy.

See,I'm good at throwing myself into projects...I get excited, gung-ho, and I tend to commit whole-heartedly. The problem comes when there is no end in sight...and you see, when it comes to diet and exercise there IS NO END IN SIGHT. How we eat and treat our bodies is an ongoing process...and I'm always striving to reach the finish line. But what do I do when I get there?

Past history has shown that I reach a goal and then I revert to my old ways. Whew! Glad that's finished. Now hand over that cheeseburger. And before you know it I'm back at the starting line again wondering how the hell that happened.

God bless my husband because he has to be the most supportive man on earth. He's seen me through various cycles of Weight Watchers, Atkins, Body for Life and starvation (he, uh, wasn't so much on board with the starvation) and patted my ego as my weight went down, up, down, up, down, up, up, up... And as annoyed as I get sometimes when he asks me questions like the one at the beginning of this post...he only does it because I've asked him to (repeatedly) and because he cares that I'm unhappy with myself.

So, I unload all kinds of baggage on my husband about how sad I am that I seem unable to make postive, lasting changes and suddenly it's like the clouds part and I realize what I've been doing wrong this entire time. I get SO excited, gung-ho, throwing myself whole-heartedly into everything that I do...that I burn myself out. I expect that I can overhaul my entire lifestyle in one fell swoop and that it will be easy and permanent. Obviously, it isn't.

Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yes, my friends, I admit it. I have been insane since about the age of oh, 11 or 12...that would be most of my life, lest any of you think I'm only 21 due to my incredible lack of wrinkles (note the sarcasm and reference to nightly regimen above).

So, I have come to a crossroads and I've decided to go the way of Crazy Aunt Purl, otherwise known as Laurie Perry (love her blog - if you don't read it you should - you will totally fall in love with her charm and her cats). She wrote a blog a while back about how she was never going to diet again and instead was going to instead treat herself with dignity and respect and simply try to make better choices. So simple, but so right. It was one of the most amazing and eye-opening things I have ever read. It struck a chord with me at the time but I was still in the throes of trying to power my way to a perfect body.

All of those years of blood, sweat and tears (literally) and the answer is so simple. Let go of my unrealistic expectations and make small and gradual changes that will have positive effects. Because at the end of the day, any change no matter how small, is better than doing nothing, isn't it?

Bad Parents

After it was determined about a month or two ago that Paige would be attending her cousins' Halloween party (which would include a sweep around the neighborhood to go trick-or-treating) Todd and I figured we should invest in a costume for Paige. This involved a trip to the local kids' resale shop where we selected her costume (bunny rabbit) - the main factor in our selection was that it happened to be the correct size...12 months.

Let it be said now that Paige CAN still wear 12 month items, although most of her 12 month jeans creep down on her little bottom. The 18 month clothing we have been buying her is honestly too big for her still, but not so big that she is unable to wear it. The problem generally lies with the length of her pants which is easily fixed with a quick roll of the pants. (Do you see where this is going yet?)

So anyway, we head over to the party last night figuring we would get her dressed in her costume once we were there because with the lining, fur etc. we were afraid that she would get too hot. When the time came for trick-or-treating, I started trying to stuff Paige into her costume. One leg, two legs...why on earth am I having such a hard time getting her arms in this thing??? I held her up and looked...the crotch on the suit came to roughly her knees. There was no way on earth the costume was going to fit, not even if we folded her in half...obviously not an option.

We briefly discussed the possibility of cutting the feet off, but in the end we ended up borrowing a cute little Halloween shirt from her cousin, Reese. So, Paige spent her first Halloween and trick-or-treating experience costume free. No one really seemed to mind because, well, she IS a total cutiepie, and what kind of grinch doesn't enjoy cuddly toddlers full of personality (if you say me prior to having a baby I will TOTALLY deny it)? Fortunately, much like the birthday party (which went really well, btw...guess I should post some pics, huh?) I have a few years to get this right.

First note to self...next year maybe we should try the costume on first.